by Tom Pugh
1991 – The Letter Left in the Sock Drawer –
Hey Tommy,
You won’t understand this at all, but please believe me and don’t show anyone this letter. Your entire life is about to change and there is nothing that you can do about it. Your baby brother is very sick. He has a hole in his heart. He won’t be born. If Mommy continues to carry him, she will die. It’s going to be okay though. Just remember that he’s going to heaven.
I know that you get sick a lot. I know that it’s hard and the kids at school pick on you and ask if you’re going to die. I can assure you that you are not. You are going to live a long life and you will continue to write about all kinds of things, even the car accident that Dad got into on Christmas. I know that you tell dad to stop smoking. I know that he doesn’t. It’s okay. One day, he’ll have to. Dad is going to find out very soon that he is sick too. Try to be there for him if you can. If you are, he will be there for you, and that is what you both need.
When you are finished reading this note, throw it away.
Your Future Friend
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1997 – The Letter Left Under the Sony Playstation –
Hey, I don’t know if you remember me. A long time ago, I wrote you a letter when I thought you needed it. It was a letter that might prepare you for the future. Here’s another. Your Grandpa isn’t going to get better. By the time that you get to see him in the hospital he will look like a completely different man than the World War II veteran and hero that you knew him to be. Soon after that, your family will make the decision to pull the plug. Just trust in their decisions. All of your complaining and crying is out of love, but it only makes things harder on everyone. They loved him too. Everything is going to be okay and your grandma will be fine.
Right around Christmas this year, something is going to happen that will change your life. It will hurt, but you won’t die from it. You’ll be bumped and bruised for a while and you will get a concussion. Your family will be very scared and I’m sure that you will be too. Just remember to stay strong and you’ll be alright.
Your Future Friend
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2000 – The Letter Under the Keyboard –
Hey Tommy,
I’m sorry. You’re going by Tom now, right? I know it hurts. Your first love always does. Look at it this way, she cheated on you while you were in the hospital and e-mailed you to break up. Do you really think that this girl is princess material? I don’t. One day, we’ll see eye-to-eye on this. I promise you. For now, I want you to know that there will be other heart-breakers out there…and they will be just as cruel.
Your Future Friend
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2002 – The Letter in the Utensil Drawer –
We both know that you aren’t going to do this, so why even act like you are? You’ve known him since second grade, so obviously he wasn’t as good of a friend as he claimed. You’ve only known this girl for two months. Put it down, Tom. You are not worthless. There are other women out there. One day, someone will love you for who you are. I promise that it will happen. More people love you than you know. This is easily the dumbest thing that you could think of wanting to do to yourself. Now go to your room and write. I promise you, you’ll come up with good stuff.
Your Future Friend
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2004 – The Letter in the Suit Coat –
Look at you. You’re growing up pretty quickly, Tom. You’re ready for graduation from high school and you’re all smiles, still wondering who exactly is writing all of these letters. That’s good. Remember now: never stop wondering and questioning. When you stop wondering, you will lose your creativity. For a guy like you to lose your creativity and sense of imagination would be like suffering a thousand deaths. Remember that you can change your major at any point in time to anything that you want to. Telecommunications might not end up being what you think it is. Good luck today. Don’t trip going down the stairs next to the stage or anything.
Your Future Friend
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2007 – The Letter by the Kerosene –
You’ve always thought of yourself as a writer, so are you really going to let the words of a girl that you just found out has been cheating on you for three months make you doubt yourself? Please re-think this choice. You have things in this group of papers from when you were thirteen years old. Some of these things will never be able to be remembered again for you to re-write if you burn them in the bin that is outside that door. You are about to make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. Please, don’t do it, man. It will break your heart more than the breakup itself.
Your Future Friend
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2009 – The Letter in the Backpack –
By the time that you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering exactly where in the hell your mother is. You’re probably mad at her for not picking you up an hour ago. You are thinking about how you haven’t started a twelve page paper that is due tomorrow and you are screwed if you don’t get home by at least 5:00 to type it. I’m guessing you also think that if you hear Freebird one more time on the jukebox in the coffee shop, you might scream.
Your mom hasn’t picked you up because she had to take your dad to the hospital. Yes, he should have gone earlier in the week when you told him to. I know it was multiple times, but don’t hold that against him. You’re stubborn just like your dad. They found out that he has diabetes. It’s why his ankles are so swollen.
When you get to the hospital and walk into your father’s room, you will notice that he can’t speak or move. He is having a stroke. You are the first one to see this. It’s okay to be frightened. When you call your sisters to tell them what has happened, tell them the truth. Tell them to come home, but don’t hold it against them that they don’t want to live amongst the insanity of an ill father and a mother that seems to be having a nervous breakdown.
Your sisters and mom will be okay, but read what I’m about to say very carefully. You have to become the man of the house now. It is your duty. Embrace it. Painting sucks. Don’t wear your favorite converses when you paint the front porch. Lawn mowing is a great time to release frustrations upon the world. When you get an idea to draw a design on the lawn, don’t do it. It creates more work later.
Your father had the stroke because a blood vessel in his forehead broke. Three more will break before 2010 is over. Because of this, your father will not be able to receive the lung transplant that he has needed since you were eight years old. His breathing will become very shallow and due to your imagination, the only thing that you will be able to think about is what will inevitably happen later.
I don’t know your future because I haven’t gone there. I refuse to go there because I’m just as afraid as you. What I’ve realized is that we all build time machines. They are sometimes called “regret” or “remorse.”
Some people call them “sorrow.”
Your Future Self
Tom Pugh is an aspiring writer. He will graduate this semester with a Bachelor of Science in Education degree. It’s really a fancy way of saying he can teach high school students. He hopes to pursue his MFA in creative writing at a later time.